The Optimist “I’ve lived a long time and I’ve learned a few things,” Said my grey-haired philosopher friend “And I’ve reached some conclusions to ruin your illusions, About the importance of men.” “By men I mean ‘Homo’ – the Sapien race The ones who have caused all the fuss, From whom it’s debated that apes…

More Limericks A topless car washer named Irene, Was acclaimed as the company’s siren, But her “topless” collapsed, As she washed and she waxed, They were biodegradable styrene! Fraser Lake’s along Highway 16 It’s a place where most folks haven’t been If you walk, run or slither, ‘Tween Prince George and Smithers You’ll find us…

MY PATIENCE PLANT I have a patience plant that blooms With pretty flowers in my rooms I feed it love and tender care And water often as I dare Its place is where its beauty shows Up there beside the radio And underneath and to the right The T.V.s at a different height The record…

UPON ATTENDING A CREATIVE WRITING CLASS Creative writing is a drag My pencil slumps, my backbone sags Our instructor showed us how To wean the calf, then milk the cow To mate our words and phrases too To help concoct a gourmet stew A recipe for prose and poems That we can cook up in…

April 29th Poem by Doris Following the 20 separate directions in today’s poem-writing prompt: http://www.napowrimo.net All the world’s a stage And we are all undertakers Looking at flowers Listening to music Smelling apple pie Tasting apple pie Kissing loved one’s goodbye. “The flowers smell like apple pie,” Said Mary Brown from St Laurent “We’re not…

OUCH! Geriatric grandmothers Skating across the pitted surface Of a hockey arena My friend took lessons In her younger years She attempts the bunny hop And even fancier manoeuvres I glide carefully on dull figure skates Never could get used to those darned pics We wore tube skates on frozen ponds With deep cracks Patches…

Klaatu, The Metal Maid I don’t know what I’d ever do, If I didn’t have Klaatu. Housework is such an awful bore, But I don’t have to anymore. Each morn I merely flick a switch, To turn him on and tell him which, Of many chores that should be done, He must perform by setting…

LIMERICKS A moose ambled east of Prince George Where pulp mills mix vats of pulp porridge In a vat it did slip Filled with wood chip dip And came out boxed in cardboard for storage! A hummingbird hijacked a goose Saying, “Take me Down South – no excuse, Though it’s only July I’m desperate to…

Creative writing project, based on when we moved to town. “BREEM”: “a term applied to the female swine when she desires the male…” Said Porky Pig, “We’ve p-packed to go, Our p-place has s-sold, we can’t say ‘no’ Petunia b-blames me for the move, Though I recall a d-different groove. “At Christmas t-time she s-spouted…

SNAKEY BILL AND THE BEER STRIKE OF ‘78 From out of the hills came Snakey Bill, One hot day in July, He was drenched with sweat, his clothes were wet, His throat was parched and dry. He’d searched for gold but the trail was cold, His luck was bad this year, The blazing heat almost…