JELLIED LIVER PATE (Tune of Jingle Bells) Liver Pate! Liver Pate! Jellied in a mold, Add some onion, Add some garlic, eat it while it’s cold! Jellied liver pate, With bay leaf and with broth, Simmer for ten minutes, Then strain it through a cloth! Put it in a blender, Add butter — don’t renege,…

Untitled Poem Four lumps? I gasped as he loaded his coffee I thought you only took two? Sugar’s a killer they say not healthful at all. Later I had one chocolate bar two pieces cake three brownies but no sugar at all in my coffee

MY FACE IS IN MY PURSE (From when I sold Avon and was caught with no makeup on.) My face is in my purse My face is in my purse The face you see Is not the real me My face is in my purse I’ve rouge and lipstick Cover-up, eye-shadow and eyeliner Foundation, powder…

There once was a man from New York Who ate Chinese food with a fork Chopsticks with the meal Held gustatory appeal So he ate them along with the pork! A lady who moved to Vancouver Had a face lift she hoped would improve ‘er But one eye got raised up ‘Twhere an eyebrow’d been…

AN INTERESTING AUSSIE Contrary to all kanga rumour Only Papa’s called a Boomer He’s far away and roaming free When Mama has her family With bean-sized baby in her pouch (I wonder if she murmured “ouch”) She hops along the kanga trail And misses not her kanga male Her firstborn Joey’s by her side Cause…

OPENING INTO HEAVEN Opaque incandescent lighting moist warm satiating surroundings dark shadows comforting reassuring Diminishing space cramped quarters a sense of confinement depleted nourishment hunger it’s time to move on… Chip; chip; chip domicile disintegrating aperture reveals dazzling bright sunlight illuminates long tawny shanks feathers like mine only bigger Maternal love, delicious wriggling food it…

THE CREAM CHEESE ANGEL (From the cream cheese commercial on TV) Beyond the universal shroud Appearing rather nebulous She lounged upon a cumulous cloud While I stood by incredulous With wings that gleamed a luminous white And clothing effervescent My comely angel’s appetite Was utterly pubescent “Would you do that for me?” she’d plead When…

ON MARRYING Our widowed Grampa on the hill Is three-score years and ten His heart though is romantic still, Next week he plans to wed again. He has a grey-haired lady friend They plan to pool their pensions But marrying is a tedious thing Wrought with many tensions. He climbed the courthouse steps today A…

ON S-SPEECH A man who stutters whenever he speaks Told us this story of how he spent weeks Touring the garages and making the rounds Searching for work in Vancouver town. He entered a tire shop near Hastings and Main They needed some help, the sign made it plain The manager nodded, then said, “Yes,…

ANOTHER WORLD IS ON T.V. (1970’s) Another World is on T.V. – it sells soap by the box, Enough to wash a million shirts and fourteen zillion socks. The show gets longer every year, ‘til now it’s half-a-day With Iris in her spin-off spot, they’ve bumped the matinee The characters within the show covet each…