Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC


JELLIED LIVER PATE (Tune of Jingle Bells)

Liver Pate! Liver Pate!

Jellied in a mold,
Add some onion,
Add some garlic, eat it while it’s cold!

Jellied liver pate,
With bay leaf and with broth,
Simmer for ten minutes,
Then strain it through a cloth!

Put it in a blender,
Add butter — don’t renege,
What fun it is to puree smooth
Your liver with an egg!

Dissolve some gelatin,
In half a cup of sherry,
The other half a cup,
Will make your Xmas merry (?)

Add hot broth to the rest,
Be sure to chill enough,
Pretty soon you’ll have to find
Some guests who’ll eat that stuff!

You’re Dreaming Of A Roast Turkey (tune of White Christmas)

You’re dreaming of a roast turkey
With oyster dressing on the side,
When tear drops glimmer as onions simmer,
You smell the oysters that are fried,

You’re dreaming of a roast turkey,
With every bread crumb that you break,
Add green pepper and some parsley flakes,
And may all your turkeys be baked!

Oh, your batter’s alright (Tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
If batter is light,
Better not cheat, I’m telling you — beat,
Mrs. Claus is going to bake!

She’s checking her list,
And doubling it twice,
Gonna bake cakes with raisins and spice,
Mrs. Claus is going to bake!

She sifts flour, salt with soda,
Pours brandy from a vat,
Over candied fruit and walnuts,
Tastes so good — that’s why she’s fat!
Mrs. Claus is going to bake!

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