ON MARRYING Our widowed Grampa on the hill Is three-score years and ten His heart though is romantic still, Next week he plans to wed again. He has a grey-haired lady friend They plan to pool their pensions But marrying is a tedious thing Wrought with many tensions. He climbed the courthouse steps today A…

ON S-SPEECH A man who stutters whenever he speaks Told us this story of how he spent weeks Touring the garages and making the rounds Searching for work in Vancouver town. He entered a tire shop near Hastings and Main They needed some help, the sign made it plain The manager nodded, then said, “Yes,…

ANOTHER WORLD IS ON T.V. (1970’s) Another World is on T.V. – it sells soap by the box, Enough to wash a million shirts and fourteen zillion socks. The show gets longer every year, ‘til now it’s half-a-day With Iris in her spin-off spot, they’ve bumped the matinee The characters within the show covet each…

The Optimist “I’ve lived a long time and I’ve learned a few things,” Said my grey-haired philosopher friend “And I’ve reached some conclusions to ruin your illusions, About the importance of men.” “By men I mean ‘Homo’ – the Sapien race The ones who have caused all the fuss, From whom it’s debated that apes…

More Limericks A topless car washer named Irene, Was acclaimed as the company’s siren, But her “topless” collapsed, As she washed and she waxed, They were biodegradable styrene! Fraser Lake’s along Highway 16 It’s a place where most folks haven’t been If you walk, run or slither, ‘Tween Prince George and Smithers You’ll find us…

MY PATIENCE PLANT I have a patience plant that blooms With pretty flowers in my rooms I feed it love and tender care And water often as I dare Its place is where its beauty shows Up there beside the radio And underneath and to the right The T.V.s at a different height The record…

UPON ATTENDING A CREATIVE WRITING CLASS Creative writing is a drag My pencil slumps, my backbone sags Our instructor showed us how To wean the calf, then milk the cow To mate our words and phrases too To help concoct a gourmet stew A recipe for prose and poems That we can cook up in…

April 29th Poem by Doris Following the 20 separate directions in today’s poem-writing prompt: http://www.napowrimo.net All the world’s a stage And we are all undertakers Looking at flowers Listening to music Smelling apple pie Tasting apple pie Kissing loved one’s goodbye. “The flowers smell like apple pie,” Said Mary Brown from St Laurent “We’re not…

OUCH! Geriatric grandmothers Skating across the pitted surface Of a hockey arena My friend took lessons In her younger years She attempts the bunny hop And even fancier manoeuvres I glide carefully on dull figure skates Never could get used to those darned pics We wore tube skates on frozen ponds With deep cracks Patches…

Klaatu, The Metal Maid I don’t know what I’d ever do, If I didn’t have Klaatu. Housework is such an awful bore, But I don’t have to anymore. Each morn I merely flick a switch, To turn him on and tell him which, Of many chores that should be done, He must perform by setting…