Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC

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Anxiety Attacks

I’m thinking about anxiety and how it manifests itself. A trigger pops up when you least expect it. One minute you’re happy, joking and enjoying the game you’re participating in with people you like. The next minute you’re judging yourself as not being as worthwhile as the next person. Not even as worthwhile as anyone else in the room! You freeze up. Your game is off. You need to relax but you can’t do that. Part of you wants to go home, crawl into bed and pull the covers over your head. But you’ve experienced this before. Maybe for all the days of your life. You know it will go away but the question is when? Someone tells a joke or you hear music or maybe you accidentally do something you’re proud of? The sun rises once more and you wonder why you felt so insignificant earlier?

Choices and Changes

Guess we triple-dosers are becoming disillusioned upon learning that we are still not completely immune to the Covid 19 virus. But I don’t think we should cast blame upon those brilliant minds who have been valiantly fighting this invading miscroscopic alien creature. The virus was brand new to health science researchers and pretty darn scary when it began spreading throughout the human world in late 2019. Researchers had basic references on file to other somewhat similar viruses (including the deadly SARS epidemic which luckily did not reach Western Canada before it was stopped in its tracks) It helped them to come up with basic recipes on how to concoct an effective vaccine. But the recipe was vague so they had to change dosages etc as a cook would vary the number of eggs to make the best cake. And the wee virus kept changing as viruses do in their collective need to survive. So apparently the little €££÷:”% can now take over the world. But apparently in doing so, this latest varient has lost its deadliness. We are (hopefully) left with something similar to the influenza virus which can be controlled to an extent by yearly doses of a vaccine.
I caught the influenza bug one year from my wee grandaughters and generously gave it to my husband. We were so sick that we vowed never to skip our yearly shots. We never had side effects from the various vaccine ingredients and I have never regretted having the shots. I’ve been sick, but never as sick as when I got the full dose of flu from my cute little granddaughters.


I have often wished the general public could understand that schizophrenia is a disease, not a character flaw. And it is not caused by a specific happening in their lives. It can strike anyone, usually a young person whose brain chemical compilation – for whatever reason – becomes disordered. Schizophenia has been categorized as a mental illness but is recently being recategorized as a nuerological disease. Perhaps people will now understand that the sufferer is not responsible for his/her disease.


Why doesn’t schizophrenia hail

Higher on the compassion scale?

Phycoses symptoms don’t include

Blood that’s oozing from a wound

Fever, cramps and severed limbs

Diseases with prognoses grim

We cannot SEE a mind


To sights and sounds

That are distracting

Voices shouting in their ear





Delusions distort


Too many suffer


Words by Albert Einstein I need to Assimilate

“I didn’t arrive at my understanding of the fundamental laws of the universe through my rational mind.”

“Concerning matter, we have been all wrong. What we have called matter is energy, whose vibration has been so lowered as to be perceptible to the senses. Matter is spirit reduced to point of visibility. There is no matter.”

“Time and space are not conditions in which we live, but modes by which we think.
Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, determined by the external world.”

“Time does not exist – we invented it. Time is what the clock says. The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”

“The intellect has little to do on the road to discovery. There comes a leap in consciousness, call it intuition or what you will, the solution comes to you and you don’t know how or why.”

“A human being experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

“Our separation from each other is an optical illusion.”

“When something vibrates, the electrons of the entire universe resonate with it. Everything is connected. The greatest tragedy of human existence is the illusion of separateness.”

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

“We are souls dressed up in sacred biochemical garments and our bodies are the instruments through which our souls play their music.”

“When you examine the lives of the most influential people who have ever walked among us, you discover one thread that winds through them all. They have been aligned first with their spiritual nature and only then with their physical selves.”

“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”

“The ancients knew something, which we seem to have forgotten.”

“The more I learn of physics, the more I am drawn to metaphysics.”

“One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike. We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us. It is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware.”

“I’m not an atheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many languages. The child knows someone must have written those books.”

“The common idea that I am an atheist is based on a big mistake. Anyone who interprets my scientific theories this way, did not understand them.”

“Everything is determined, every beginning and ending, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.”

“The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It will transcend a personal God and avoid dogma and theology.”

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”

“Everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you can not help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

“I am happy because I want nothing from anyone. I do not care about money. Decorations, titles or distinctions mean nothing to me. I do not crave praise. I claim credit for nothing. A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.”


The Fairy Olympics       


Prince Charles flitted and bobbed amongst the yellow flowers and tall grasses, stretching his muscular wings and practicing his moves for the Fairy Olympics that were to begin in Fairyopia in two months time. Charles was aware that he’d have no problem winning most of the medals in the competition. But he was the son of King Karmen and Queen Mirabella, two of the nicest kindest fairies ever hatched from a fairy cocoon.  And he was a very kind and pleasant fairy as well! 

It wasn’t that Charles did not enjoy winning. He was always pleased when he achieved the fastest time in a flying or swimming competition. But the other fairies, who were his friends, had to lose in order for Charles to win. And he was a wiss when it came to disappointing his friends. Charles had even flown backwards once during a flying match to allow his best friend Gurgle the opportunity to win a race. But Gurgle- who had no sense of direction – had become lost and flown off-course. And Charles had won anyway.

Charles hadn’t always been muscular and athletic. For most of his childhood he’d been a bit overweight. He was teasingly referred to by his sisters as “Chubby Charles.”

As babies, Charles and his sisters, Sunshine and Showers, had metamorphosed from the nymph phase in the same way that other fairies – and some insects- do. The tiny hatchlings had appeared on their parents’ doorstep following a snowstorm. When they were taken indoors where it was warm, the girl fairies had emerged from their cocoons far sooner than their brother. Charles wasn’t really that interested in learning about the real world.

Throughout their childhood his sisters had remained speedier than Charles. Sunshine could fly so fast that you could barely see her tiny body whizzing through the air. And Showers could swim as swiftly as the tiny, silvery fish that darted and twirled in the depths of The Black and Blue River. Both girls had beaten their brother many times in sports competitions. 

One hot summer day Charles and his sisters were cooling themselves in the Black and Blue River.

 “Let’s have a swimming race,” suggested Showers. The sisters’ long blonde curls were tied back with spider webbing and their wings were tightly clasped behind their slender shoulders.

 “Yes, let’s do that,” agreed Sunshine.

Charles had eaten two large pieces of fairy-cake while visiting with Fred the hippopotamus at the ferry terminal. Fred had just hauled the ferryboat on-shore. It was laden with delicious cakes baked by the fairy cooks that lived on the east side of the river. As payment for his work Fred was permitted to eat as much cake as he desired. And he was good about sharing with his friends.

Charles’s stomach was still full and the last thing he wanted to do was compete in a swimming race.

“You’re just afraid that one of us will beat you,” Showers scoffed. And of course Charles’s masculine pride could not ignore that remark. As it turned out, he not only lost the race to Showers; but his other sister Sunshine, finished ahead of him as well.

The next morning Charles was still unhappy about losing the swimming race to his sisters. His wings dangled and his head drooped as he skittered along a woodland trail that led to an open meadow. Charles was wishing he was stronger and thinner. His sisters would no longer have a chance of beating him in any kind of competition! 

Charles had expected to be alone that morning. But now, in the distance, he could hear his sisters joking and giggling as they fluttered back and forth behind him on the trail. One of them squealed something in a high voice about “Chubby Charles” and the other sister giggled. Charles felt his face turn beet red.

In the middle of the meadow there was a large rock. Charles noticed that a smooth tunnel had been drilled right through the middle of it. He wondered if it was the result of a fairy having previously wished for a hiding place….


Perhaps another male fairy had once desperately wished to escape from his sisters or some other pesky fairies? Charles thought to himself. Fairy wishes generally came true if one wished long enough and hard enough. The tunnel was not visible from the air. Charles had flown over the rock many times and had never before noticed the opening.

His sister’ voices sounded closer now – and from higher up. Sunshine and Showers had opened their tiny wings and were gliding toward the clouds. Very soon they would spot their brother below them on the ground. There was only one place to hide. Charles slowly eased himself into the rock tunnel until both ends of his body were out of sight from the air. It was a tight squeeze and he could barely breathe.

It was nearly sundown when he was finally able to emerge from the tunnel where he had been trapped for almost an entire day. By that time his stomach had shrunk and he’d lost enough “bulge” to escape. 

It was then that Charles’ interest in becoming thinner and stronger was resolved. From that day forward he worked out every morning and every evening.  He also assisted Fred the Hippo with towing the ferry, refusing all offers of cake as payment. 

Charles sisters no longer referred to him as “Chubby Charles.” They proudly polished the medals their brother was awarded at various athletic competitions. At the Fairy Olympics, Charles had won several more to add to the collection displayed on the family mantelpiece. 

This last batch of medals was what Charles was most proud of. He’d helped train some of the younger fairies to become better athletes. At the Fairy Olympics these upstarts demonstrated that they were even faster than he was.

Charles was very pleased with his second and third place medals.

Love In Your eighties, by Phoenix Bee Wolf-Ray (my daughter)

That was a lovely wedding 🥰

Here are the lyrics to the song I wrote and sang at the ceremony for the adorable (somewhat mature) bride and groom:

Love in Your 80s

What does it take to find love in your 80s
To open your heart and make a new start
What do you need to believe in a future
To lift up your face to the stars
Sharing the space where you are

Your life has been long, you’ve had to be strong
Counting the costs of the things you have lost
With so much that’s over and so many gone
In the twilight of life you’ll find a new song
A song of two hearts who belong

What does it take to find love in your 80s
To open your mind and see what you’ll find
What do you need to believe in a future
To lift up your face to the stars
Sharing the space where you are

Nothing is over until it is over
As long as you live you’ve still love to give
After each ending, it’s time for beginning
what else is losing but practice for winning

Here’s what it takes to find love in your 80s
It’s courage and faith and a sparkle of grace
It’s life everlasting, and feast after fasting
And lifting your face to the stars
Sharing the space where you are

Your lives have been long, you’ve both been so strong
Now, sharing the costs of the things you have lost
With so much that’s over and so many gone
In the twilight of life, this is a new song
A song of two hearts who belong


Yesterday was stressful. Spent hours attempting to download and copy our vaccination cards on both mine and George’s computers and then hopefully, print them out. My old Window 7, now a 10, is sometimes reliable but slow. George’s is new and fast but has strange habits. Turned out both computers locked out on us and I noticed all accessible networks here at the Lodge had little locks on their availability. Did I do that??? They recovered after awhile…..
My printer and I have disagreed before and yesterday was no exception. It is new and came with no instructions whatever. All its quirks and quarkes are encased in a manuel that has not yet been completely retrieved from its innards. My problem is that I learn something and am confident that I have it in my brain and then ‘Poof!’ It is gone.
Thank you Elaine (@ Autumn Services for plasticing our shiny new vaccination passports! Now we can attend restaurants, bars, events…..problem is I am too tired to go anywhere!


I’m thinking about a response I received years ago from the then manager of Fraser Lake Inn, when I applied for a job as a waitress. I’d had very little experience, but Ray (I think that was his name?) said that was good. He wanted his employees to do the job his way. “It’s far easier to learn new job habits ,” he explained. “Than to unlearn old habits.”

Maybe that’s true in other aspects pertaining to the human condition?

I am really perplexed about our seemingly divided views on important subjects. What about my deeply held thinking habits re things such as advocating for vaccination against diseases? Should I unlearn my tendency to go along with the status quo? I strongly believe in being vaccinated but perhaps I am wrong?

What about abortion? My personal observation of friends who’ve been through it, is that abortion is against a woman’s natural need to nourish the baby that is inside her. It is very hard on a woman to have an abortion because it is against nature. She suffers mentally and emotionally after having that abortion. But on the other hand, I had a misscarriage at 2 and a half months. It was definitely not a fully developed fetus, by any sense of the word, at that stage of the game. I felt no emotional attachment…should I have felt sad?

Hope and Change

Obama used the phrase “Hope and Change” as his pre-election slogan. It seems to me that is the only way for our society to carry on into the next phase of our existence. Hope is what we wish for and change is the process that makes it happen. We build upon what we already know.

Medical science has come a long way since I was a kid back in the dark ages. I remember meeting a woman who seemed amazingly young for her “advanced”age. I was in my late teens and had never known anyone who looked as healthy as she did at the age of 60. Now many of my children and step-children are approaching or have reached that magical age of 60. They all look amazingly young for their age, according to nineteen fifties standards. They are still able to work and play hard. Some have sufferred through serious health issues and have recovered.

During the past seventy or so years , medical Science has bumbled their way through some horrific mistakes like the Thalidimide crisis and come up with healing substances such as penicillin and othet anti-bacterial medications; also anti-virals, anti-inflammatorys, anti- psychotics etc. They have developed vaccines to protect us against polio, red measles, whooping cough, scarlet fever and other horrible diseases.

The big killers used to involve heart problems. My uncle died at 36 because he had been born with “a hole in his heart” Shortly after they came up with the “heart lung” machine which made open heart surgery possible. Now half my friends who’ve slowed down because of blocked arteries (including myself) have had stents put in and we now can keep up with our fellow senior citizens. I have also put up with breast cancer (not fun but I survived) I can only say “Hurray for Medical Science!”


Perhaps we need to think of the Coronaviruses as akin to extra- terrestial beings set to multiply and take over our planet?

They are living organisms. Like all living organisms, their main intent is to survive and propogate their species. They are very good at doing this.

They were new on our scene. At first we were helpless to defend ourselves. Because of the airplane the virus travelled to all parts of the world, living and propagating inside the living bodies of tourists and other travellers.

Now we have vaccines which are weapons to stop (or at least slow down) the extra terrestrials from multiplying and wiping out large segments of our human population.

At first it was the elderly and infirm who were mostly vulnerable. But these crestures have a little trick that we don’t have (or perhaps we do but it takes more time for us to develop it?)

They are able to mutate their offspring into meaner and tougher beings that are able to attack younger and stronger human beings more and more effectively as time goes by.

Anyway that’s my take on the situation we human beings are in!

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