Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC

Mr G and the Squirrel

Mr G strolled out on the lawn

In his heart there beat a sweet song

In his tree hung a feeder

Filled with succulent seed-fer

The birds that were flying around.

Some finches were perched in the tree

He could hear their wee chirps, “tweet’l dee”

But instead of a “thank’y”

Their chirps sounded cranky

“Filler up,” they growled, “we’re hungry,”

“I do hope those finches are wrong

The feeder’s ten feet from the ground

How come it is empty?

Last night there was plenty

Could tiny beaks have siphoned it gone?”

“‘Twas not us!” cried the finches

“Our stomachs shrank inches

‘Twas a big bird instead

With no beak on its head

Ate the food that he’d managed to pinch us!”

Mr G glanced up in the tree

A squirrel smiled back pensively

“A squirrel-proof feeder

Is all that we need here

You birds will be happy, you’ll see!”

The feeder was made out of tin

It had a trick device within

If a squirrel came to dally

It’s weight would not carry

The opening would shut with a din

But the squirrel was overweight

Which caused the device to break

Mr G was not happy

He felt kind of crappy

As he tightened up the mistake

A new bag of seeds he had bought

“It’s all good,” Mr G had thought

But again, the squirrel tripped

And the bird seed was nipped

It happened more often than not!

The winter birds came with the snow

And soon it was twenty below

Mr G learned too late

Squirrels do not hibernate

Repairing the feeder was a go!

The squirrel used aerodynamics

To bypass the feeders’ mechanics

He debarked downside up

When he slithered to sup

The birds suffered panic upset’rics

One day Mr G had a dream

A roof on it’s roof was the scheme

The first made of foil

Lasted one night of toil

The squirrel tore it up to smith’reens

Mr D looked out of his window

The birds were all his friends now

On top of the rig

Was a big plastic lid

The “Free Meals for Squirrels” s’been rescinded

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