Mr G strolled outdoors on the lawn

In his heart there beat a sweet song

In a tree hung his feeder

Filled with succulent seed-fer

The birds that were flying around.

Some finches were perched in the tree

He could hear their wee chirps, “tweet’l dee”

But instead of a “thank’y”

Their chirps sounded cranky

“Filler up,” they growled, “we’re hungry,”

“I do hope those finches are wrong

The feeder’s ten feet from the ground

How come it is empty?

Last night there was plenty

Could tiny beaks have siphoned it gone?”

“‘Twas not us!” cried the finches

“Our stomachs shrank inches

‘Twas a big bird instead

With no beak on its head

Ate the food that he managed to pinch us!”

Mr G glanced up in the tree

A squirrel smiled at him pensively

“A squirrel-proof feeder

Is all that we need here,

You birds will be happy, you’ll see!”

The feeder was fashioned from tin

It had a trick device within

If a squirrel came to dally

It’s weight would not carry

And the opening would shut with a din.

But the squirrel was overweight

Which caused the device to break

Mr G was not happy

He felt kind of crappy

As he tightened up the intake.

A new bag of seeds was bought

“It’s all good,” Mr G had thought

But again, the device tripped

And the bird seed was nipped

It happened more often than not!

The winter birds came with the snow

And soon it was twenty below

Mr G learned too late

Squirrels do not hibernate

Repairing the feeder was a go!

The squirrel used aero division

To bypass the feeders’ mechan’ism

It debarked downside up

As it slithered to sup,

The birds suffered panic neuro’ ism.

One night Mr G had a dream

‘A roof on the roof’ was the scheme,

The first made of foil

Lasted one night of toil

The squirrel tore it up to smith’reens

Mr G peered out of his window

The birds were happily mingled

A big roof o’er their kibbles

Left no access for nibblers,

Free lunch for the squirrel ‘d been rescinded!

The “Free Meals for Squirrels” s’been rescinded