Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC


1999 Sense and Nonsense

Today I commemorated the birth of Britain’s longest reigning monarch by kneeling, scraping and bowing in the drizzling rain, as I attempted to uproot weeds in what will one day be the garden at our newly acquired acreage.  While I reposed upon the dampening soil, my derriere shielded by a garbage-bag-encased cushion, the spirit of the long dead queen began to envelope my imagination.

I had dressed fashionably that morning in my best gumboots, royal blue sweat pants and almost-matching raincoat with a visor to deflect the raindrops away from my glasses.  It was of supreme importance, I thought smugly, that my eyesight not be impaired if I was to accurately identify the enemy before brandishing my weapon and annihilating its numbers.  Even so I accidentally trowelled a few cowering pansies and—shame unto me– slashed at a fat onion from last year believing in a fit of  majestic rage that it was just another quack-grass.The poor thing had survived the cruel winter only to be crushed by my friendly fire!  Oh well, a queen can get away with such things – especially when it is her birthday….

It was on the Tuesday following the Victoria Day weekend that spring finally arrived in Fraser Lake. An exodus of chilled, soggy tourists towing campers, trailers and boats had cluttered the highway the previous evening reminding me of troops of disgruntled soldiers returning home from a battle they did not win.  We who live here were the only ones left to enjoy the ensuing sunshine.  And it was wonderful!

When it comes to appreciating weather, people in the  Northern Interior are sometimes pathetic.  Last winter was fairly mild but instead of enjoying it I, heard a few lamentations that we should be having 40 below temperatures in order to get rid of the  pine bark beetles. Some suggested that 60 below would be even better and for a period of three months. If that happened we’d be rid of more than just the beetles. I for one would have headed south until my thermometer warmed up.

And instead of feeling lucky when snow levels did not reach the tops of fence-posts, some citizens in our community were seen shaking their heads and worrying that come summer the lakes could be devoid of most of their water. Last week, after we finally had two sunny days in a row, I overheard those same people predict that forest fires would soon be breaking out.

I was not amused.

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