Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC


1974-76  Sense and Nonsense

Knock, Knock Jokes, are being revived by the younger set. Who can forget the classic routines of an earlier generation of children. “Knock, Knock” had to be answered by “Who’s there?” The answer sometimes was “Jimmy”. The punch-line for that one, accompanied by appropriate giggles, was, “Jimmy a little kiss.”

Hysterical….? I thought so, although I was a parent and supposedly immune to childish humour.

The other day I heard a re-run of my favorite Knock, Knock joke. “Knock, knock. Who’s there?” was answered by “Dwayne”. “Dwayne who?” was followed by “Dwayne the bathtub! I’m dwowning!!” The 10-13 year olds involved in reincarnating this tale had obviously heard it before as well. None of them laughed, they merely smiled. Me? I almost fell off by chair.

Not long ago some other mothers and myself were openly eavesdropping on our off-springs’ conversation. Knock, Knock jokes were being told in a frenzied fashion. Some of them we had never heard before because the children were inventing them on the spot. We wiped the tears from our eyes and managed to control ourselves before casting about mentally to invent our own adult Knock, Knock joke. One mother, spying a planter suspended from the ceiling by a braided rope cried, “Macramé!”

“Macramé who?” someone asked. She stammered a little before replying “Macramé—but then again, she may not!”

Luckily the children were in the other room and did not overhear this slightly risqué version of their very own Knock, Knock jokes. They would have suspected their maternal parents of spiking their coffee with something stronger than cream and sugar.

Since that day, I have found myself idly trying to fit names into Knock, Knock routines. I have Knock, Knocked while doing dishes, sweeping floors and making beds. I have even Knock, Knocked while watching TV. My spirits soared while watching an old Mary Tyler Moore show. Ted Baxter invented a very successful Knock, Knock joke, although it took him the whole show to do it.

For the benefit of those who somehow missed this hilarious story, Ted based his joke on the name “Anna Marie Albergetti”. He eventually cajoled Mary into querying “Anna Marie Albergetti who?” He then burst into song with the first line of Dark Town Strutter’s Ball:   “Albergetti in a taxi, honey…”

I thought, “If Ted Baxter can invent a Knock, Knock joke, so can I. I frantically Knock, Knocked on every name I knew. I even Knock, Knocked through a list in an old baby book. I eventually became ethnical (a word not yet in Webster’s dictionary meaning “concerning an ethnic group..” – or some such thing.)

Anyway, here are my Knock, Knock” jokes. A Cockney English pilot named “Edwin”. “Edwin, who?” you ask. “An Edwin ‘ampers ‘elicopter ‘andling”.

A Swedish sailboat captain named “Mervin”. “Mervin who?”  “Mervin iss vanted on the vater”.

A Ukranian named “Wadchuck” “Wadchuck who?” “Wadchuck wood if a wadchuck could chuck wood”.

Pretty bad, eh? I think I’d better leave the Knock, Knock” jokes to the younger set.

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