SENSE AND NONSENSE

I asked our 12 year old son to suggest a topic for this week’s column. He picked up a pen and wrote, ” We have a small tornado in the house.”

This statement is a very good description of our eight month old baby in her walker – especially when there is a hockey game on TV. Big brother usually is in a very vulnerable position on the rug, sprawled flat on his belly, one arm bent with his hand cupping his chin, the other arm flailing the air periodically in varying degrees of intensity. Small tornado waits until the action increases before she makes her move. Across the room from hrer target, rotating a little, she gathers up speed until the distance is spanned. Eyes closed she zeros in on big brothers left leg. The spell of the hockey game is rudely shattered as small tornado’s vehicle begins to roll on impact. Big brother manages to grasp small tornado before she assumes an upside down position on the rug. He deposits small tornado back in her vehicle. This is a mistake.

Just as Cournoyer of the Montreal Canadians winds up for the tying goal, small tornado has both hands full of big brother’s hair causing him to miss the play entirely. There is a little irritation expressed by big brother this time as he untangles small fingers from his hair. He quickly wheels her to the fartherest corner of the room and settles back to watch the instant replay of the goal he has missed.

Wow! How that Cournoyer can skate! The puck has just been passed to him….what happened?  The screen is blank! Small tornado has somehow crossed the room in record time and uncannily hit the light and bright button at just the wrong time. A quick readjustment of the set and there appears on the screen a very good picture of some jubilant hockey players waving their sticks. The play is over and the puck rests inside the enemy’s net. Once more big brother has missed an exciting part of the hockey game. Small tornado is giggling and zig-zagging back and forth in front of the television set. No matter, all is anticlimax from now on.

Small tornado, like the stable door that was locked too late, is removed from the walker. She is less dangerous without her wheels. Big daddy discovers at this time that she has sprung a leak and small tornado is quickly handed to big mamma.  Big mamma takes her to the rediapering area and instantly small tornado becomes a mini-cyclone spiralling anti-clockwise at an incredible speed. Oh well, it is bath and bottle time anyway. Small tornado is quickly peeled of all her garments and placed in a tub of water.

The results are predictable. A tornado at sea is likely to cause a tidal wave and small tornado is no exception. A devastating flood results. Big mamma and small tornado, both soaking wet, emerge from the bath area and retire to the bed and bottle area. After a time big mamma returns. Small tornado has settled down, hopefully for the night.

As for big brother it is one of those evenings. The Buffalo Sabres have returned to win the game despite the best efforts of the courageous Montreal Canadians. Yvan Cournoyer is selected though, as one of the three stars for his incredible goal, one of the best in the series.