Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC

PREGNANCY CAN BE UPLIFTING

Having just been pregnant for 9 and 1/2 months I feel I am a bit of an authority on that subject. It can be a drag but it also can be an uplifting experience. (No pun intended.) I really recommend the condition for almost everyone and it seems unfair that most males are unable to attain this experience. I say most because there was a story on the radio concerning a pregnancy test which was positive, on a supposedly male  specimen. This WAS one of those stories you always wonder about. There is no way one can find out the truth behind it. If it is true, it has to be one of those exceptions which proves the rule. Being a mother is strictly a female priority.

I have always believed this to be true of all living organisms, people, plant or animal. However there is one sea creature which makes a habit of male pregnancy or at least a reasonable facsimile. The female sea horse lays the eggs and places them in a pouch in the male sea horse’s abdomen. He then incubates them for about a month and a half which can be a long time if you are a sea horse. The encyclopedia doesn’t say whether he gets morning sickness, liver spots, headaches or labour pains, but one can assume he is not all that comfortable, especially since he is hatching up to 200 little ones. I imagine though that he feels it is all worthwhile when he sees all those little offspring of his.

I am curious though if sea horses could talk whether they would call daddy “mummy” and vise versa. Does he have the maternal instinct or would you still say it was paternal. What about the female sea horse…does she stay home and mind the babies or does she go out and bring home the grub. Our encyclopedia only has two paragraphs on the sea horse and the largest paragraph dwells on how odd they look. It is true that they look pretty weird but I am really more interested in their habits than their appearance. They could be starting a precedent in the process of evolution. The female sea horse has also attained the ultimate in womens’ lib which is a large step ahead of the bra-burners of our society.

If men could ever become pregnant we would have to change our classifications of a lot of things. The mens wear section of the department store would have to be enlarged to include paternity clothes. Also the hospitals would have to change the names of some of their wards from maternity to paternity wards. One other thing which a lot of mothers still do is nurse their babies. Fathers would have to become equipped to handle this. In fact, daddys it seems to me, would begin to look a lot like mummies, except of course they would probably still have to shave. A busty father with a beard would look a little incongrous I would think.

One thing that burns me up is when you dress a baby girl up all in pink ruffles and someone says, “Isn’t it cute, is it a boy or a girl?” I can understand it when she is dressed in any other colour but pink, but as far as I know pink is strictly a girl colour. In fact I remember just a few years ago when Jerry Lewis’ wife was expecting her umpteenth child, the rest of whom where all boys, he plastered “THINK PINK” on everything: the walls of his house, their car, luggage, I think even his wife, had these large stickers pasted on them. I wish I could remember if it worked or not. It seems to me she did have a girl and if so, then it proves the power of thinking the right colour. It also proves that pink is definitely the girl colour.

 

 

 

 

 

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