Rhymes, Rants & Accolades from North Central BC

THE DEVIOUS PLUMBER TO HIS LOVE
With apologies to the author of
“A Passionate Shepherd To His Love”

Unplug with me the sink and tub,
Where hairy folk their bodies rub,
With lotions, soaps, oils and gel,
Deodorized, to quell the smell.

And we will sit upon the john,
Seeing the grease and grime upon,
The porcelain and in the drain,
The strands of hair that yet remain.

And I will make you pointed hats,
And aeroplanes to throw at cats,
Paper flowers I will issue,
Fashioned all from toilet tissue.

A gorgeous gown of soft chenille,
Made from the towels that I will steal,
And jewellery at your feet I’ll toss,
All woven out of dental floss.

Grease traps full of grimy things,
Plumbing leaks and bathtub rings,
If these don’t make you “ick” or “ugh”
Then come with me and help unplug.

A cutting torch, a roll of wire,
Toilet plunger, wrenches, pliers,
If all these tools for me you’ll lug,
Then come with me and help unplug.

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