My husband passed away in April and I am wondering how long this period of loneliness and mourning will  last?

Other widowed women tell me “six years” or even as long as  “twenty.” Some carry it around for the rest of their lives. For me it’s been painful. And unpredictable. And a few times overwhelming .

But once in awhile the grief has been mixed in with an emotion akin to joy. I’m not sure whether I was experiencing symptoms of insanity or whether I happened upon something wonderful?

Our early years of togetherness weren’t always easy. But eventually it worked. We made some lifestyle changes and our relationship grew into something special.  In about 1995 I wrote “In Search of Wild Onions”   

The years have passed by

My love

We have experienced pain

Bouts of drought

Freezing rain

Blazing fire


Storm drenched desire

Both frigid and torrid


Although altogether

There were infinitely many

More warm cloudless days

Now we are basking under

Calm comfortable skies

We await the sunset

And enjoy each sunrise

Today we climbed a steep hill

In search of wild onions

Something we do every spring

Before the berries ripen

Before the fish begin to bite

Tomorrow we may go camping

And make love inside a tent

And I can honestly say

That I love you


And I always have

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